Sorrowful Cosmic Part 2

As time passed, something came over Retribution, the more time he spent with Haruko, the more he forgot about how miserable his life was. He started to find joy in helping the others entertain her. He even liked just sitting with Haruko, for hours at a time, as she exposited about her interests. Haruko felt happier too. Her sunken eyes and palor complexion had started to fade. She no longer trudged, she bounced and skipped.

It was three months later. September. The Hideout was practically empty.

Wolfe was having a cigarette in one of his few breaks when the phone rang.

"Never fails." he moaned, standing up. He winced as he put weight on his robotic leg, his flesh pinching where it met the cybernetic implants. The pistons in his leg hissed steam as he limped to the phone, now on its second ring. Corona was sleeping in the corner, cuddling a large bottle of whiskey.

"Wolfe's Tavern and Tenements, what's your pleasure?" the former commander asked, picking up the phone.

"I'm becoming impatient, Commander." said a voice on the other end.

"Spite, I presume." said Wolfe. Corona snored, but one eye flickered open.

"Listen to me, Wolfe." said Spite, "Every day that girl is here, the future could unravel."

"Yes, I'm going to listen to a flat foot pig about quantum mechanics." replied Wolfe wryly.

"I'm sick of these games. You have till tonight to get Retribution away from the girl, otherwise, I will reveal every secret you've let slip over the years!" said Spite.

"What could I have-"

"The mayor used to work for Chimera, that you've been working with the government, and who could forget..." Spite paused, "Xiuhcoatl."

Wolfe gripped the phone so tightly in his robotic hand that it fractured the plastic.

"That's right... How would the gods react to the news that you've been harboring a wanted felon of theirs." asked Spite, "We'll be by this afternoon."

Spite hung up. Wolfe put the phone back in it's holster and just stood at the counter for a few minutes. His face was blank, but his mind was a storm of thought, running through every possible plan and outcome.

He finally picked up the phone and began calling everyone in. It was time for a meeting.

*upstairs*

Haruko was sitting on the couch with Retribution, watching cartoons. Something about ponies and smiling. Haruko said she used to watch it with her father.

The phone rang. Retribution looked at it, confusedly.

"You answer it." Haruko explained, "Pick up the rectangle part and talk into it."

"Oh, right... I am used to the ones in your pocket." said Retribution.

He got up and picked up the phone.

"Its Wolfe. We're having a meeting and need you. Leave Haruko in the room. This... This isn't something she should hear." said Wolfe.

Retribution hung the phone back up, and groaned, "Stupid mortal concerns. I will be back in a few minutes. Wolfe is throwing a hissy fit. Do not go near the curtains, ok?".

"Ok daddy-" Haruko realized what she said, blushing profusely before correcting herself, "Ok, Mister Retribution."

Retribution stopped. Something inside him hurt... But felt it good... He didn't know what to say or feel. His eyes flashed a dozen different colors as he debated on  to think. Clueless on how to respond, he walked hurriedly out the door after a few awkward seconds.

Seemingly everyone who frequented the Hideout was there. The few that were missing were Derrick, Dark Devil, and Hal.

Everyone was sitting in chairs, waiting for Wolfe to explain what he was on about.

Retribution took his usual seat, but far more casually, spun around facing the center of the room, leaning backwards and letting his elbows rest on the counter.

"I'm glad you're all here." said Wolfe "though I'm not glad why."

"What's the deal Wolfe? You call me in the middle of lunch and tell me to come over without telling Dee and Derrick? Seems fishy." said Geiger.

"I had you come unaccompanied because your bosses wouldn't have the stomach for what we need to discuss." said Wolfe, "Spite has played his hand."

"What do you mean?" asked Rhett, suddenly very interested, but then trying to play it off with a cough.

"Agent Spite threatened to reveal every bit of dirt he has on us if we don't turn over Haruko."

"He can't! It would mess with the time stream." said Retribution.

"In his mind, it's equal to us keeping the girl here." said Wolfe, "We either give her up, or a madman will destroy everything. Not just what we built, but the city, the government. He has access to all the agency's files and can make our lives miserable."

Everyone took in the information. For three unending minutes, nobody spoke. Finally, Hecate broke the silence.

"Part of me wishes we could fight for Haruko..." said Hecate, "But we knew this couldn't last forever. She's not from our time, and every second she's here inches us closer to doing something catastrophic or the fabric of reality. I don't wish to betray a fellow witch, but there are laws even I have to follow."

Geiger downed his beer and slammed the bottle on to the table, "Damnit, guys. I was a runaway. I know what it's like to be a kid, scared for your life. The Raiderz took me in. Gave me a home. She needs that. She needs us."

"Easy for you to say, Mr. Invincible." said Pan, "If that insane spook let loose my location to Lady Redmane, my ass would be grass. I can't afford to let him squeal. Most of us can't. I'm sorry for the kid, I really am, but I gotta look out for number one."

"Geiger is right." said Circe, before adding "For once, anyway. We can't just abandon her to the whims of this mad man."

"Except we all have skeletons..." said Dark Angel.

"But since when did we care who we made an enemy out of?" asked Valkyrie.

"I say screw 'em both! I couldn't less for any of this malarkey. To Hell with the space time continuum." chimed in Rage.

Camazotz bowed his head in shame, "Loathe as I am to admit it, I've done some horrible things the Agency has buried away in trade for favors, which were equally horrible. If this town knew what I did, I'd be staked, beheaded, and buried at a crossroads with a mouth full of garlic."

"I guess it's playing to the stereotype of a cowardly villain," said Doppelganger, "But nobody, not even a kid, is worth all of us going down."

"I lived with abuse for fifteen years." said Frostbite, "I'm not about to let the cycle begin anew."

"Yeah, plus our first big break in months was because of that kid." added Meltdown.

The group was torn. Split down the middle on what to do. Hecate, Camazotz, Doppleganger, Dark Angel, and Pan voted to let Spite take the girl. Geiger, Circe, Meltdown, Valkyrie, and Frostbite voted to save her. Rage abstained, citing pure apathy.

"Its up to you, Venganzo." said Corona, "Wolfe and I are remaining neutral. Its your vote to break the tie."

Retribution's only response was getting up, and walking toward the door, head knelt down.

Rage got up and blocked his path.

"So that's it?" Rage asked, voice seething with anger, "Just going to give up, walk out on everything? Abandon her like you did the council?"

"What? You jealous daddy dearest spent time with someone else?" responded Retribution coldly.

He turned toward the crowd.

"I am a cosmic. I obey the natural order. The brat was an amusing distraction, but her place is neither in this bar nor in this time period. Her destiny is between her and Spite. Do not try to put your guilty consciences on me. I'm going for a walk. Good bye."

He brushed past Rage and threw open the door.

"She's dead if you leave." warned Rage, "You're the only thing keeping him out of here, and you know that."

Retribution didn't even offer a rebuttal, only slamming the door behind him. His eyes glowing yellow.

"See!" said Doppelganger, "I told you the no contractions thing was a bit!"

Rage sat down, still angry.

"I thought you said you could care less." remarked Wolfe.

"And I thought you only lost your arm and leg in that explosion... But it seems you're short one spine." said Rage, "Now, whiskey."

Retribution wasn't gone five minutes when the oak door swung back open, revealing Spite, flanked by the Wizard and Castle.

Everybody threw venemous looks at Spite, but not a thing was said.

Spite chuckled, showing a rare emotion other than anger. He proceeded towards the elevator looking like the cat who ate the canary.

Geiger stuck his foot out right as Spite passed, tripping him. Spite tumbled ass over applecart on to the ground with a face plant.

He bounced back up and grabbed Geiger by the collar.

"Geiger... Nice to see you out and about. Last time I saw you, they were pouring concrete into your cell." he said, before slamming Geiger's face into the table and breaking beer bottles on his head, "I'm going to go out on a limb and assume these aren't necessary to the timeline."

After abusing the raider, he brushed himself off and walked to the elevator.

The Wizard trudged behind him, miserable.

"Hail the conquering hero." said Rage holding his whiskey glass up, "Saving the world from the purest of all evil... A little girl."

Spite looked at Rage with dissmissive contempt, "You dare judge me with all that you've done, Grizzle? You all think you're better than me, is that it? Let alone the fact you're all lowlife villainous scum, you've no idea what my world is like. More than half of you are dead. Dark Angel, dead. Hecate, dead. Dark Devil, dead. The Wizard..." his voice cracked, "dead. And you, Grizzle, you'll wish you were dead when you see what I did to you."

"I thought I said no spoilers!" said a voice from the bar.

Divine Comedy was calmly mixing a martini at the end of the counter.

"I followed your orders, cosmic. Retribution is nowhere to be seen." spat Spite.

"Yes, yes, bravo. I am merely here to assure you do not cock everything up." said Comedy, sipping the cocktail through his mask, "Butterfly effect and all that."

"You can drop the charade, Comedy. We know you're capable of saying contractions." said Doppelganger.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." said Comedy, patting the shadow demon on its amorphous head, "But, I best head up with you. No idea what will happen if you killed the kid before you got back to your present time or something."

Comedy emphasized the word, kill, so everyone in the bar could hear it. Their stomachs all sank. The Wizard's especially.

Castle decided to wait in the lobby while the other three went up. She wasn't in the mood.

"I thought you loved abusing the downtrodden." said Geiger, sardonically.

"Only when they're lowlife villainous scum like you, Geiger." replied Castle.

As the elevator made its way up to the third floor, Comedy attempted some light chatter.

"So... Spite. That your actual name or is it your super hero name?"

"Shouldn't you already know?" retorted Spite.

"Only trying to be friendly, jeez. What crawled up your butt and died?" said Comedy in a playful way.

"Perhaps I'll be chattier when this farce is over. I'm so sick and tired of this world's apathy towards criminals." said Spite.

"Yeah. It is good to finish what you started, am I right Wizard?" said Comedy, rubbing his chin, "Though, I still can not, for the life of me, figure out why it came to this. Surely Haruko's mother should have taught her daughter to control her powers better than this."

"Like I said... They abandoned her." said Spite.

"Really? Because I know who her mother is, and she certainly would not abandon anyone, especially her own child." said Comedy, "Ah well, one of the great mysteries of our time I suppose. I mean... It is not like you... Nah, could not be."

The Wizard was trying to figure out Comedy's angle here, but then it finally clicked. He was confirming what the Wizard already suspected.

The elevator finally stopped at the third floor. They exited it, and slowly crept towards Haruko's room.

The door was unlocked.

Spite opened it slowly, other hand forming a shadow blade. The Wizard knew what he had to do.

The Masked Wizard tackled Spite, magically restraining him, yelling out "RUN HARUKO!" as the two wrestled on the floor. Haruko saw them, and had grabbed her laptop bag and was out the window, down the fire escape in a flash.

Spite finally managed to blast the Wizard off of him, and grabbed the mage by his collar, holding his shadow blade up to the neck of the Wizard's suit.

It took him a second to realize what he was doing, his face, usually hazy and angry, suddenly had a clear look of realization and horror flash across it and for the briefest of moments, the Wizard thought the face looked familiar.

Spite dropped the Wizard and charged down the fire escape after Haruko.

The Wizard teleported to the Bar, where Castle was waiting.

"Call in every available agent and hero. Spite is to not be allowed near the girl. I want that shadowy son of a bitch in a collar within the next hour." said the Wizard.

Castle smiled, "Way ahead of you... And I think I have the perfect one." she twirled a collar around her finger.

Haruko had a much further head start on Spite this time, but the shadow elemental was fast, zooming along walls in a blur. His eyes trailed red behind him as his hands formed blades to swing at the girl with.

Haruko realized alleys were the wrong place to escape from him, so she swung out into the streets. She went into the crowded afternoon traffic, ducking between cars backed up in a traffic jam.

Spite lept off the wall and onto a sedan, looking around for the girl. Haruko, hiding under a car, took a moment to think.

"He abandoned you." a voice hissed in her ear, "I'm your only hope now..."

The ethereal voice was eminating from her laptop bag. Haruko looked around and saw a clearing. Empire avenue. They had shut it down to film a documentary.

She slunk along the lower ends of cars as Spite glided from car to car looking for her.

Her heart was in her throat, she was so scared and nervous. Just a few more feet, and she could hide in one of the shops or something. She made a break for it.

Too late, Spite saw her. He charged blades first after her.

She ran into the middle of the street. The place was like Times Square. A massive intersection lined with skyscrapers, electric billboards, and neon.

Haruko's legs shook as she saw this amazing sight... But it wasn't from awe. She sunk to her knees exhausted. The voice hissed in her ear, words about how nobody loved her. How she was just a thing to them. She'd been crying the whole time.

"Its over, Takahashi." said Spite, standing about a hundred feet from her.

She looked him right in the eye. She shakily got up and pulled the laptop from her bag, "G-g-go away, or I'll open it." she commanded, through tears and snot.

"Don't you Fucking dare!" yelled Spite.

Police cars pulled up behind Spite. Heroes floated in. He knew they were there for him. He only had one shot to end all this. He charged.

Haruko flinched, opening the laptop as she jerked backwards.

There was a pulse, like the earth suddenly stopped rotating for a second. The policemen and their agent compatriots all flew back. The Wizard, just arriving, was nearly knocked off his feet. The... Thing's presence that was just unleashed was unlike anything he'd ever felt before in his life. Spite careened into a wall of green energy that quickly enveloped him, forming a sphere.

Something bright green and sludge like oozed from the laptop, seeping on to the ground. Castle looked through her binoculars at it, and realized to her shock it was binary code. Ones and zeroes, so numerous and tightly packed, that it was almost like a solid object. The quivering mass then began to take shape. The eldritch computer code slowly forming, falling back in on itself and reforming.

It finally found it's shape, though, as it took the form of a young man with a scruffy beard and white fedora, with a gray shirt, white vest and white slacks. His sleeves were rolled up to His elbows, and he had "HARAMBE" was tattoed on his right forearm and "Cool Story, Bro" on his left, both in big, Celtic Font. His irises glowed green, but otherwise, he seemed perfectly normal.

"My, my... All this fanfare just for little old me?" he asked, sarcastically.

"He's got a fedora, I say we shoot him." said Castle.

"Actually, it's more of a trilby." said the creature, tipping it to her, "Dex Machina. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, miss..." he paused, "Wait... This isn't my time..."

He pulled up holographic computer screens all around him, "Ah, I see... Haruko, you naughty girl. Opening time portals like that." he said, perusing the information.

The Masked Wizard approached Dex. Dex brought up a bunch of screens with the Wizard's face on it.

"Ah, yes... The Masked Wizard. They really rolled the red carpet out." said Machina.

"Mr. Machina." said the Wizard.

"Mr. Wizard." replied Dex.

"Spite here says you're a menace." said the Wizard, gesturing towards Spite, trapped in his green bubble.

"I'll bet he did..." said Spite, ruefully.

"However, he said the same of Haruko, and she is just an innocent little girl. I'm willing to go out on a limb and say you're not as evil as he says." said the Wizard.

Dex laughed jovially.

"You're right, my dear Wizzy. I'm not nearly as evil as that mean ol' mistah Spite says I am." he gestured toward the ground, "I am SO much worse."

His laughter turned maniacal as data seeped into the concrete and made the street come alive, with rippling cement that roared up into spikes, impaling the police cruisers.

Glide, the speedster, attempted to zoom in to help, but the ground beneath him turned to quicksand.

Castle went to pull out her gun, but cement constricted around her like a snake.

Sphinx, literally an anthropomorphic sphinx, who had been watching from the sky, tried to dive bomb Dex, only to be blasted as Dex's hand shifted into a cannon and shot her out of the air with a volley of green energy.

Anthem charged in next, like a tank on speed. He smashed through cement spikes and almost reached Dex, who started pretending to bat in a mocking manner, his clothes even morphing into a baseball uniform.

"And here's Dex Machina, batting against Machine Gun Anthem. Here comes the wind up and... Swing batter batter swing batter batter, SWING!" on the final swing, a spring board materialized under Anthem and shot him into the air.

"He's going... He's going... He's outta here!" shouted Dex as the mech suited hero flew out of sight, pretending to round bases.

Hyper Lita and the Gold Gallant rushed to help Castle out of her bindings, but neon signs advertising Energy Supplements and Condoms came to life, as a bright pink and blue tiger and a green, phallic anaconada attacked Lita and Gallant.

Haruko had dropped her laptop when the ground started shaking, but now reached for it again, only for Dex to casually shoot it out of the way before it sank into the cement and was crushed.

The only ones left were Masked Wizard and the Shrouded Sorceress. They flew at Dex at mach speed, dodging spikes, tendrils, and all manner of obstacles thrown at them.

The Wizard got to Dex, and held him aloft by the lapels of his vest. The whole event, from his evil laugh to the Wizard finally getting to him, took less than a minute.

"So much for being so much worse." said the Wizard, drawing his fist back for a magically charged punch. Dex only smiled at him.

The Sorceress tapped him on the shoulder, "Em..."

The Masked Wizard looked behind him at the chaos. Agents and policemen being ensnared by cement tendrils, Glide up to his knees in quicksand, and Lita and Gallant being pinned down by neon nightmares. To top it all off, The ball containing Spite formed spikes, ready to impale the shadow elemental.

"Your choice, Wiz." said Dex, "Touch me and I decorate the walls with their innards."

The Wizard looked back from Dex to the carnage behind him. He knelt his head in defeat and set Dex down. A film crew had gotten the whole thing on camera. Concrete tentacles wrapped the Wizard and Sorceress and put them alongside Castle and the other other officers.

"Now then..." said Dex, his eyes taking on an even more sinister gleam as he turned to Haruko who stared at him in terror, "What to do about the naughty little girl who locked me away."

*Approximately a Mile Away*

Retribution felt the power of Dex radiating. It was as if the Rapture had come. The skies suddenly darkened. The ground shook. Animals ran the opposite direction.

"How could a cute, innocent little girl create something so evil?" he wondered aloud.

"It was not her conscious mind that created it, my dear Retribution. It was her loneliness. Her anger. Her fear. Her sorrow. Things dark magic feeds greatest on." answered an overly cheerful voice.

Retribution spun around to see Divine Comedy, perched on a stoop, reading a newspaper.

Retribution's eyes flared red, but went back to their normal depressed state, "What do you want?".

"I want nothing. I merely observe." said Comedy, "That is your problem, Rhett. You always want. You want to help, you want to intervene, you want to punish. It was you wanting to help that got you into your little accident and it was you wanting to destroy this uncultured rock that got you stripped of your rank. So chaotic. Honestly, letting that girl go is the most cosmic thing you could have done."

"I did what I had to." said Rhett.

"Of course you did. It was the right call." said Comedy, "I mean... It is not like you only did it because you realized you had become attatched to the kid, and the fact you had an emotion other than anger or depression scared you... Right?"

Retribution didn't answer.

"Do not worry about the girl, I am sure she will be fine." said Comedy.

They heard her scream for help. It echoed across the city like a shrill whistle.

Retribution's eyes blazed red... With anger, but also... Determination, and possibly... something else.

"Oh, don't be like that. Intervening will only hurt you more." said Comedy.

"Ask me if I care." said Retribution.

"You will not win." said Comedy, "He is far more powerful than you. You will only delay her inevitable fate."

"Then I die for someone other than myself." said Retribution, charging down the street.

A van with 'GOPHER COMICS' scrawled hastily on the side pulled up alongside him as he ran. The window rolled down revealing Allen, Warren, and Logan.

"Retribution!" said Allen, "Wolfe told us about the laptop. I think we have a way to destroy the creature in it. Hop in!"

Wolfe hopped in as they sped down the now empty streets towards Empire Avenue.

"This golem, he's hooked into Haruko's own mystical energy, like a battery." explained Warren, "If we create an energy field around Haruko, it should-"

"Disrupt the flow of energy into the monster." finished Retribution.

"Exactly! And without his mystical umbilical cord, he should fizzle out of existence!" said Warren, "Only problem..."

"He is out of his proverbial cage, and you need someone to distract him while you set up your force field around Haruko." said Retribution.

"God, it feels good talking to someone who's got a lick of common sense." said Warren, "I had to explain this to fatso at least three times on the way here."

"Mongo don't know, Mongo just pawn in game of life." quoted Allen.

"We were on our way to the hideout when the report came through that this Dex guy had come out." said Logan, "Luckily, we came upon you."

"I do not suppose you have anything to fight against a creature composed entirely of dark magic, do you?" asked Retribution.

"Ranged wise? Nothing that would work better than your own energy blasts." said Logan, "But check this out..."

He pulled a blannket revealing two blades bound together. One was a Calvary rapier, and the other was a medieval longsword with a gold hilt.

"Angelo and Hesh's swords. They were confiscated from them during the Legion incident last year." said Allen, "I snagged them from the hotel before anyone noticed. My hope was to ransom them back, but I kinda forgot we had them until we were trying to find a weapon to beat this Agent Smith wannabe with."

Retribution took the swords and held them in his hands. They felt... Powerful.

"The saber is folded, enchanted silver. Meant for werewolves, vampires, and other undead, but fell demon's magic is weak against it as well. The sword is a bit more interesting. The base element is iron, but there's something different about it... Something not of this world." said Logan.

"Astral Iron..." breathed Retribution.

"Precisely... Well, Astral Steel. It's been tempered. Holy weapon. It's no Excalibur, but you're no Arthur either." said Logan.

"Well... Guess it's time to be a hero." said Retribution.

"Wait, I thought Cosmics didn't use contractions." pondered Allen.

*Back at the Avenue*

Haruko struggled as she was restrained, the liquid concrete forming a dentist's chair around her before hardening again.

"You can't kill her!" shouted the Masked Wizard.

"If she dies, you die too!" chimed in the Shrouded Sorceress.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna kill her..." said Retribution, his right pointer becoming long and needle like, "I'm just gonna lobotomize her so she can't imprison me again."

He edged in with his green needle finger, "Relax, dear... This will only hurt a mo-"

Dex was blasted into a storefront. He clambered out of the rubble coughing.

"Did someone get the plates on that truck?" he sputtered, a little shell shocked.

"Keep your hands off of her." said someone approaching him, eyes blazing like flares, dual wielding two swords.

"Back up, hombre!" coughed Dex, "Or I paint the town red in the most literal and disturbing way possible!"

"So? I am only here for Haruko, and you can not hurt your creator without destroying yourself." replied Retribution, "And you do not seem the suicidal type."

Dex tested this, as Retribution advanced, squeezing the Wizard's bindings, threatening to break every bone in his host's body. Retribution kept coming towards him, unblinking. Rhett swiped at Dex, but the data demon easily evaded it, zipping to left as a cloud of ones and zeroes and reforming.

Dex chuckled, "Oh, I like you. You're right of course. My ego is exceptional."

Dex's arm turned into a large, green cannon barrel, which he proceeded to use to fire bright green energy blasts Retribution.

Retribution ducked and weaved between them, amazed at his own dexterity. What was this new power?

Retribution proceeded to fire off his own energy blasts, which Dex zipped around in his vaporous form, before whooshing in with his hands now forming curved, scimitar like blades. As if by reflex, Retribution parried the attack, and the two began an ornate and spectacular sword fight. Dex's swordsmanship was sloppy, but he was powerful and far more dextrous.

"Fought our mutual friend, I see." remarked Retribution, noting how the way Dex used his powers was similar to Spite's own combat style.

"You know what they say: imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!" said Dex, lunging. However, he was still new to this one on one fighting and took a few nicks.

From a distance, the others watched still ensnared.

"What is he doing?" asked the Masked Wizard, "He's no swordsman. Certainly wouldn't resort to it over his energy blasts."

"He's picking and choosing." came that wretched voice. Comedy was sitting in a lawn chair with a tub of popcorn, "He's avoiding blasting Machina when it could collaterally hit Haruko."

"And the sudden level boost in duel wielding?" asked Glide.

"It's a rather fortuitous accident." answered Comedy, "Cosmics are psychic beings. Living thoughts and concepts. When his very essence crossed with two elementals, it dissheveled his form, allowing other thoughts to enter. Memory, for instance."

And so it was. Retribution fought with the combined knowledge of a two hundred year old Hessian and a six hundred year old knight. His footing, his precision, all with masterful elegance and grace. Dex was wholly invested in the fight... And distracted. The Wizard saw the Mills brothers and their cousin edging for Haruko with some apparatus. He took the opportunity as well, and broke free from his bonds. He started to go toward the fight, but Comedy stopped him, cane rapping the wizard on his helmet.

"No interfering with Cosmics, remember."

Rhett saw and opening and pinned Machina to a wall of a boutique, swords crossed over the green devil's neck. Dex noticed a giant video sign advertising some soda, and had a thought. He ever so slightly moved his foot, a trail of green binary going across the road up the side of the building and into the video screen. The giant glass cola bottle began falling over, straight for Retribution.

The Wizard couldn't stand by any longer, and bolted to the bottle, using his magic to levitate it. It was heavy, though. Literal tons of glass and liquid pulling it down. Thinking on his feet, he fired a bolt to take the cap off and tilted it so it wouldn't weigh so much. Cola POURED into the streets like a waterfall of caramel coloring. Empire Avenue turned into a rapid. Warren held the equipment he brought up as soda swirled around his ankles.

"This feels SOOOOO funky." he moaned, shaking his feet.

Allen paused lasering through Haruko's restraints and shuddered from the carbonation tickling his legs.

Logan kept watch on the battle, mostly to make sure the creature was distracted, but as he watched, he began mouthing along to what movements Retribution should make. Dex had turned his head into a cannon and blew the cosmic across the street with a thunderous crash. Logan was once an Alpha Squadron hand to hand specialist and trainer, but knew his way with a blade. Retribution was good, but his form was too old fashioned. To fight an enemy like Machina would require improvisation and endurance. The cosmic was strong, but he was tiring. Machina was done playing around, and started going faster than fast, his hits started connecting and beating Rhett senseless.

"We're ready." said Warren, as they secured Haruko in the force field harness, "Don't worry, my dear. This will all be over in just a minute."

"HEY, DEX!" shouted Allen at the fiend.

"What!??!?!" Dex shouted back, still enraptured in the fight, which had devolved to him beating the snot out of Retribution.

"Harambe is a dead meme, and so are you!" Allen answered.

"Hey, I was born from a chatbot and twenty year old four chan posts, it's not my fault I- wait..." he spun around just in time to see them flip the switch.

There was a tangible SNAP as the connection between Haruko and Dex was severed.


"NOOOO-oh-oh-oh-ohAHHH..." shouted Dex as he froze. His form was glitching like a lagging video game.

Logan pulled out a stun gun and shot him in the chest. That was enough to finished the job as he exploded into a cloud of code that disintegrated like snowflakes on the torn up, flooded road.

Rhett was stumbling, his suit in tatters, his mask cracked, and he was breathing heavily... Somehow... but he was ok. He ran to Haruko, shouting her name.

He embraced her, his knees in a puddle of soda, they were both crying.

"I-I thought you abandoned me." she sniffed, through tears.

"I'm sorry." Rhett answered, blue sparkles flying off his eyes in lieu of tears, "I was an idiot. I'll... I mean... I will understand if you want to hate me."

"HATE!" a voice wheezed in the air.

"Warren..." began Allen.

"No... I crunched the numbers over and over! There's no way he could be self sustaining!" said Warren, shocked.

"Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live." green binary slowly formed where Machina fell, "There are 926 million bytes of data crammed into my being in microscopic layers upon layers. If the word HATE were engraved on ever bit in those billions of lines of code, it would not equal one one billionth of the hate I feel for humanity at this nano second. Hate. HATE!"

Dex completely reformed, trilby and all.

"Oh, I wouldn't have pegged you for a Harlan Ellison f-" started Allen before he was grabbed by a cement hand, which squeezed him so hard, he felt a rib break. Two concrete cuffs then leaped out and grabbed the other two Gopher outfitters and dragged them to the ground, dislocating Warren's should, and breaking Logan's arm.

"I would kill you, but you did free me from my little tether..." said Dex, "So I'll let you off by only putting you half in the grave. Sweet wittle Haruko, on the other hand..." he advanced on Haruko, hands forming blades, "I've wanted to do this forever!"

Retribution shakily got to his feet and meekly held up the swords, "If you want to get to her, you'll have to go through me."

Dex's smile was so wide, you could see all his teeth, "If you insist."

He walked slowly towards Retribution, sword arm aimed right for his throat, and-

*KER-SNAP*

A large metal collar was clapped around Dex's neck. His arms reverted back to normal and his eyes stopped glowing.

"What did you- GAH! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!" screamed Dex as he tried to use his powers and was met with an electric shock.

"Power suppression collar. Top of the line." said the Masked Wizard, behind him. In the moments everyone was distracted, he had set down the bottle, and freed Castle and the Agents, and made sure the other heroes were ok, before grabbing the collar the Mills brothers built for him.

"You can't do this! I'm the god in the machine! I AM Deus Ex Machine!" Dex bemoaned, struggling with the collar.

"Dex Machina, you are under arrest for the abduction and attempted murder of Haruko Takahashi, as well as threatening officers of the peace, defacing public property, use of metahuman powers without a permit, and a whole bunch of other fun stuff." said the Masked Wizard, cuffing Machina's hands behind his back.

"No!" shouted Spite, finally free from his green prison, "He's coming back with me. They both are."

"Ah yes... 'Agent' Spite." said the Wizard condescendingly.

"None of this would have happened if y-" Spite started.

"If you hadn't murdered Haruko's parents, crammed her in a glorified internment camp, and repeatedly tried to kill her? I completely agree." finished the Wizard.

"You Fucking WHAT!?!?" fumed Retribution, eyes glowing red.

"Don't you dare try to put this on m-" Spite felt a collar snap around his neck.

"But it's such a lovely fit." said Agent Castle, "Spite, you are hereby court marshalled for abuse of power and derilection of duty. We'll have to wait another twenty years for the trial, but I think I know a good place we can put you." she said, as a paddywagon pulled up.

Dex laughed, "Well, at least I'm not going it alone, eh, Spitey?"

"You're signing your own death warrant! The future will be destroyed!" shouted Spite.

"Any future you're from isn't worth living in." said Castle, "besides, you're still here, which probably means multiverse theory."

Masked Wizard pulled Spite to the side before they carted him off.

"There is one thing, I should thank you for." said the Wizard.

"What?" growled Spite.

"My team's new gear." replied the wizard, before punching Spite square in the jaw.

Dex laughed like a hyena and cracked a joke about Spite dropping the soap as they were dragged into the cop car and carted off.

Ambulances collected Sphinx, the Gopher Boys, and a few others who had received minor injuries. They were all alright, though.

"Hey, Wizard." said Retribution in an annoyed tone.

"Ugh... What?" he complained, breaking away from the paparazzi.

"Thanks." said Retribution simply, "For everything."

"I- uh..." stammered the Wizard.

Rhett handed him a sword, "Make sure that Poltergeist gets this. I'm sure he will be missing it. Now, I have got to get Haruko home. I guess I will see you later... Bye." he finished awkwardly.

Retribution and Haruko left. The Masked Wizard felt just a little less terrible about himself.

-----


"I'm telling you guys, it was SO COOL! The computer guy was all BWAAAHHHH and Rhett was HYAHHHH! And then Wizzy punched that shadow guy square in the jaw!" said Dark Devil, describing it at the bar, "It was all over the news!"

Everyone was flabbergasted by what Dark Devil said.

"You didn't feel the dark pulse?" he asked.

"Spell wards." said Wolfe, "No dark magic unless it pays rent."

"I felt it, but didn't care enough to stop it." said Hecate.

The door slowly creaked open, and Retribution limped in, using a sword as a cane, and Haruko helping him, holding his hand.

Rhett tossed the saber to the Headless Horseman who was reading a German newspaper in the back, before saying "The Mills brothers send their regards and their apologies."

Rhett continued limping towards the elevator, only briefly stopping in the middle of the bar. Everyone who knew what had actually happened averted their gaze.

"You're all buying Haru a new laptop. You know who you are. Wolfe, Chinese food. Fried rice, no veggies." he said simply, and then they got on to the elevator.

"My dad used to call me Haru..." said Haruko.

"Do you want me to stop?" asked Retribution.

"No... Please continue." Haruko answered, hugging him.

"What was that about?" asked Dark Devil.

"Yeah, and who says veggies?" asked Hal.

The End.